Spy Games

Before I Kill You, Mister Spy...

Cheapass Game #002, Before I Kill You, Mister Spy…, was not always known by this title. A long and mostly-factual tale of its naming, renaming, and current moniker can be found below.

This is the page for Cheapass Spy Games, including our second-ever game from 1996, and our newest game of 2026. Bad Assassin is a celebration of the 30th anniversary of the original Spy Game, featuring some of the same characters in a madcap chase through Prague.

Bad Assassin: A New Spy Game!

In the original spirit of Cheapass Games, we are introducing a new line of poster-format board games for absurdly low prices, and counting on you to provide the spare parts. Bad Assassin is the first of many.

You’ll need the Island Deck, as well as pawns and pencils and paper. We’ve made a special version of that deck (the Spyland Deck), for those who want to add the perfect flavor to the game.

Bad Assassin ships to our Coconut Crabs in April 2026, and will be available for download and purchase in mid-May. Keep watching this space!

The Original Spy Game

The Original: You’re all super-villains, building fantastical secret lairs to capture the world’s most intrepid spies. Your ultimate goal is to kill them, but you might be tempted to taunt them for extra points.

That’s the premise of Before I Kill You, Mister Spy…, a delightfully silly card game. This game is nicely self-contained, so all you need is the deck and the rules.

How did we get here?

The original title of the Spy Game included the name of a famous movie hero, because we were young and foolish and did a lot of stuff just to see what would happen. We sold the heck out of that game for seven years, but MGM finally discovered us and sent us the obligatory cease-and-desist.

Our lawyer said “you could probably beat this, but it will cost you more than this game will ever make,” and so we folded immediately. MGM gave us three months to stop selling the game, which meant we could tell our distributors that they had three months to buy us out (this was back when game distributors carried products in warehouses. It was a simpler time.)

They also asked us for damages, setting the bar at “less than a thousand.” We said “four hundred is less than a thousand,” and that was our slap on the wrist, made somewhat softer when we sold a two-year print run in three months.

After the dust settled, we held a contest to rename the game. But we couldn’t use the winner, because it was “What Part of Doctor No Don’t You Understand?”

We reissued the game in a double-deck format, and called it “James Ernest’s Totally Renamed Spy Game.” The hitch with this edition was that we doubled the number of taunt cards, and sort of wrecked the game mechanics in the process. Instead of keeping one card when you see the other one, and knowing it’s safe, you still have two more copies to worry about.

That edition also eventually went out of print, and some years later we brought the game back in its current format, a single-deck game with updated rules. We think it’s the best version yet.

In all of these games, the basic premise is that you lure spies into your lair and kill them, but you always have the option to taunt them and let them escape. In the original versions, they also blow up your lair on the way out, but in this version that doesn’t happen. We sort of miss that part, but we also know it was bad enough just to lose the points. We’re not gonna rewrite the rules again.

If you’d like to see what the game used to look like, and compare it to the version we have now, you can download all the versions for free. Review and enjoy!

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